Facing my fears

 I am so proud of myself today.

 First I had a pretty sleepless night but I managed to stay in bed, not pacing the living room floor, trying to talk myself out of a panic attack.  I was excited about facing my fear of my upcoming journey but it felt so normal.

 And second I got on a bus by myself for the first time in about 9 years.  I did feel sick, I did have a couple of loo breaks before leaving the house but got on the bus and sat down fine.  Only issue, last couple of stops someone sat next to me.  I counted each breath and stayed focus on the road in front, whilst listening to my audio book.  Why do buses feel like tiny boxes.

I did all this without any medication.  

I am finding my independence again.  

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